Isaiah 43:1-3
But now thus says the LORD,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
When you walk through the fire you shall not be burned,
And the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”
A few observations of what this passage says of God:
He is the ultimate, sovereign deity who also speaks to us and reveals himself to us.
He is our creator and (therefore) owner.
He is our savior which means he draws near and we are safe from our worst enemies.
He is our lover-spouse. He knows us, loves us, and wants to be near us all the time.
He is with us when we go through (not around) trials, deep waters, and hot fire.
He will bring us through. We will experience hard things, and we are ultimately safe.
He is willing to repeat and remind us of his truth and his love...over and over.
In the same way God speaks and draws near to communicate truth and love to those he knows and loves, so we parents have the opportunity to draw near to our kids, to know them, and to communicate (and repeat) truth and love. We don’t have to make hollow or hasty promises to them. We have God’s mighty promises on which our own faith is based. Let’s give hope and faith to our kids - in both the content we communicate and the context we cultivate.
Before we go on...ask yourself:
Do you know the particulars of why YOUR child is afraid?
Are you afraid? Do you know the particulars of your own fear?
What is the atmosphere of your home like?
What are you giving them to help them interpret their worlds? Kids are always watching, listening, noticing, learning, and interpreting (making meaning of what they are learning).
How should those of us who follow Christ think about and teach our children about fear?
First, fear follows life in a dark world. Fear isn’t a sin (at least not at first) but it is a God-given response. Fear means something is threatening and the truth is there are monsters in this world; some we can see and some we can’t. And, on our own, we are not stronger than many of them. We are limited, vulnerable, creatures. And we sometimes are alone. The most important battles are faced in our hearts. Eph. 6:12.
Second, fear fades in the dawning light of faith in Jesus. Faith means we turn to Jesus in our fear. Psalm 56:3. He is the God who is there. Faith takes hold of what we know God has done and what he’s promised to do: namely to be with us. It’s him that we put on to face the battle. Eph 6:10-11. God with us is what the Bible is all about: from Eden to the Temple to Jesus Christ to the Church to Heaven itself. Faith doesn’t entirely remove fear but goes toward the one who is there. “Do not fear” is the most oft-repeated imperative in scripture and each instance is found with words like these nearby: “because I am with you.”
Third, fear will fail when we see Jesus. Fear has an expiration date! Though the world is hard and fearsome for now, Jesus is coming again soon to conquer every threat and, therefore, every fear. By faith we will pass through these trials. By faith, fear will not have the last word.
SO, parents, practice trusting the one who has already rescued you from the biggest threats you and your children could face: your sin, the devil, and a world gone crazy trying to save itself. Are you contending with your own fear? Do you know the truths God speaks to your fears? We comfort others with what has comforted us. 2 Cor 1:3-5.
How do we comfort ourselves and our kids?
Tell the BIG STORY. Our stories are part of something much bigger and more beautiful.
Relish the ending! It is hard for now but will indeed end happily ever after.
Remember and Repeat what he has done. Ps. 77:11-12 2 Tim. 2:8 The GOSPEL!
Remember and Repeat what he has said he will do. Is. 43:1-3 Phil 1:6 Dt. 31:8 HOPE!
Humble yourself. Recognize there is a God and you are not him. Cast your anxieties on the Mighty one who loves you and is there and who cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7.
Trust God with your kids. He loves them more than you. And he is unlimited, unlike you.
A few practical tips:
Use a bible study resource that points to the big picture (e.g. Jesus Storybook Bible or It’s All About Jesus Bible Storybook)
Talk about it. Cultivate an atmosphere of faith. Morning, afternoon, and night. Deut. 6:7.
Don’t let the daily avalanche of news and negativity dominate your home. When you do listen, let God’s voice and perspective be the loudest voice and interpreter.
Turn “What IF” into “Even IF”. God has you! Even if the worst happens, we are safe in God’s hands.
Communicate openness to your kids’ questions. Nothing off-limits. Ask anything. Sit down. Make eye contact. Be patient as they search for words. Listen to their hearts. Linger at bed time. When it gets darker and quieter, their minds get going.
“The WHY and HOW questions are the ones that get you to God”. -John Drescher
“If you can mention it, we can manage it”. -Fred Rogers
Pray often. For yourself. For your kids. With your kids. Teach them to pray. Mt. 6:9-13.
Think long-term. Quick solutions are usually temporary in their effectiveness and can set up negative patterns. (e.g. letting a scared child sleep in parents’ bed)
God bless you as you seek to faithfully endure and love in these difficult days.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
I am indebted to the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation (www.ccef.org) and particularly Julie Lowe and Ed Welch for their published wisdom and guidance in this and other areas.
Google “ccef Julie Lowe children” (tons of blogs, videos, podcasts, journal articles)
Childproof - Parenting by Faith not Formula. Julie Lowe
https://www.ccef.org/fearful-and-anxious/ For the Fearful and Anxious (blog by Ed Welch)
https://www.ccef.org/secret-dealing-fear-and-anxiety/ The secret to dealing with fear and anxiety (blog by Ed Welch)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwGW8qRqz4I How Firm a Foundation